My embedded theology about prayer was I prayed to a God out
there. I prayed to an anthropomorphic God who was everywhere present all
knowing and all-powerful. In addition this
God, like Santa Claus, knew when I was good or when I was bad. When I was
younger I thought that if I looked up to the sky at night, looked at a star and
prayed over and over again for something specific it would be granted but only
if I didn’t blink my eyes while I prayed.
Honestly I always got my wish and some very dry eyes. As I got older I still prayed for something
from this God out there but the request changed. My prayer became asking for the knowledge of
His will for me and the power to carry that out (the 11th step in AA).
After going through life crisis I found this type of prayer
inadequate. I felt as if I were still begging,
was still impotent, and at the mercy of a God I couldn’t access. Being
introduced to the 5 Basic Unity Principles, the concept of God with in me
expressing as me was liberating and empowering. My prayer became quiet meditation
where I would experience a God within. Soon however instead of being at the
mercy of a God out there I found myself at the mercy of my mind.
Over time I would experience some periods where my mind
would be still enough to access a place of peace and joy which I called the
divinity within. That was a gift beyond
words. Then I became aware of times when I would experience God in nature and
God in people and God in circumstances. With reflection and experience I began
to experience God as within me and without.
How could I deny the appreciation and awe I have for the natural world
around me for the moon and the stars.
How could I deny how experiencing the presence of God in my connection
with people. How can I deny the sudden inspiration and
gratitude I feel from out of know where but in my own mind. From this reflection and experience I have
formed another perspective of prayer. This perspective was confirmed when I
read the passage from The New Being
by Paul Tillich:
Tillich asks is
prayer possible?
According to [Apostle] Paul, it is
humanly impossible. This we should never forget when we pray: We do something
humanly impossible. We talk to somebody who is not somebody else, but who is
nearer to us than we ourselves are. We address somebody who can never become an
object of our address because he is always subject, always acting, always
creating. We tell something to Him who knows not only what we tell Him but also
all the unconscious tendencies out of which our conscious words grow. This is
the reason why prayer is humanly impossible.
Out of this insight Paul gives a
mysterious solution to the question of the right prayer: It is God Himself who
prayers through us, when we pray to Him. God Himself in us: that is what Spirit
means. Spirit is another word for "God present," with shaking,
inspiring, transforming power. Something in us, which is not we ourselves,
intercedes before God for us. We cannot bridge the gap between God and
ourselves even though the most intensive and frequent prayers; the gap between
God and ourselves can be bridged only by God. [1]
In my world view I say yes!
Prayer is possible because God exists not only outside of me but within
as well. Regardless of where God is – prayer for me becomes the conscious
connection and communication with this God.
It is a paradox and in that I find it freeing. For me the greatest
freedom lies in paradox.
[1]
Tillich, Paul The New Being Chapter
18 http://www.holybooks.com/wp-content/uploads/The-New-Being-by-Paul-Tillich.pdf.
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